Back on the Wagon Part 1

Well, here I am again.

I am blogging my thoughts because, this morning, I am very ANGRY.

I have gradually put back on about 15 pounds over the last year.

I have continued to watch my food (although not as methodically) and exercise, but it has stopped working.

I am ANGRY because I gained weight.

I am ANGRY because I want to be able to eat what I like and ENJOY life without having to constantly worry about this. I am TIRED and WEARY of this process.

My whole life....every minute....is interfered with by this annoying dark cloud that hangs over me. I HATE IT.

I am ANGRY because I cannot seem to do it by myself. It's like I need a babysitter or something. I am ANGRY because I had to go to a diet center yesterday to see if they can help me. I am ANGRY because I have to PAY SOMEONE ELSE MY HARD-EARNED CASH just so I can lose weight. This is STUPID. Maybe I am STUPID since I cannot take my own advice and apply it to weight loss.

I told the counselor I wanted to start today, and now I want chocolate. There is no chocolate or peanut butter in the loss segment of the plan. I will probably DIE.

I woke up this morning, irritable and crabby because I am supposed to start today, and now I don't want to.

I'm doing everything I promised myself I wouldn't:

1. Paying to lose weight

2. Taking someone else's advice instead of my own

3. Taking supplements to aid my loss

4. Eating things I don't want to because I'm supposed to

5. Not eating things I want to because I'm not supposed to

Why don't calorie counts work? Is it the balance?

We shall see. But I am still very ANGRY.