I must take a quick moment to COMPLAIN about the trials and temptations I've already had to endure on this new diet plan. This does not happen to most people. I'm only on day 4 of this miserable existence. 1200 calories a day? A small creature would starve to death on so little food. Why couldn't I have been one of those people who eats what they want and stays at the same weight? They do exist. I'm just not one of them.
Here's the TORTURE I've had to endure so far in this short 72+ hours:
1. Saturday: My mom made a homemade chocolate cake with cocoa fudge frosting and then brought the whole thing to my house. It has been sitting on the counter calling my name all this time. It looks and smells SO GOOD....
2. Saturday night: My fault, I guess. I picked up a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for the kids and had to stare at them for 2 days. And then I had to smell and hold them for repackaging into airtight baggies. Boy they smell good! If they had been pumpkin spice, my diet would've been history.
3. Sunday early afternoon: I had to stop at the bakery thrift store to get desserts for the social, and I wandered...tummy rumbling...through the aisles, staring longingly at ENTEMANN'S donuts, cinnamon bread, and chocolate chip cookies.
4. Sunday mid-afternoon: I had to be IN CHARGE of the neighborhood dessert social on Sunday. This involved talking to the caterer, who explained each choice in great detail...
I then had to help display and serve fudgy brownies, butterscotch blondies, chocolate and other assorted cookies, apple pastries, and pumpkin muffins, a favorite of mine.
5. Later Sunday afternoon: My daughters brought home goodies from the social, as did I. (I had to save some for our church gathering.) They proceeded to eat them in front of me.
6. Sunday early evening: I had to take the leftover goodie tray and recut and assemble the treats so they looked presentable for our church gathering. Now I am touching and smelling the treats!
7. Sunday evening: Now we are on our way to the church social, where a huge buffet of sandwich fixins and chips are spread all over the entire kitchen....and a dessert line in the dining room, with red velvet cake, Texas Sheetcake (more chocolate!), and other temptations await. Grrrrr.
8. Monday afternoon: My daughter's pumpkin muffin is confiscated and consumed by my UNDERWEIGHT husband. She is upset, of course....so, she asks to make pumpkin bread. I give in. 2 loaves and 12 muffins come out of the oven....chocolate chip pecan pumpkin bread...mmmmmm.....the aroma drifts throughout the house. Now the pumpkin things are sitting around with the chocolate cake, calling to me every minute of the day.
9. Monday night: My entire family (except me, of course - I'm an alien and not permitted to behave like everyone else) is enjoying warm pumpkin bread and chocolate cake IN FRONT OF ME!!!!
10. Tuesday morning: I have already been to the gym and am ready for breakfast, but have to do office work for my husband before he leaves for the day. So, I am downstairs, trying to concentrate at my desk over the rumbling sounds coming from my stomach. Was that thunder? I don't remember the weatherman predicting rain for today....When I come upstairs, my husband has brought home cookies, muffins, and cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera Bread for the kids. He says this is because he feels badly about confiscating the muffin on Monday. I say I can't believe this because he NEVER stops to get anything like this until now...the first week of my diet!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?
11. At noon on Tuesday, I am eating green beans and 1/2 of a wimpy turkey burger, while chocolate cake, pumpkin bread, and Panera Bread bakery items are all over any available counter space in my kitchen!
Now, tell me...what are the odds of one person having to endure this much temptation and torture in just 4 days of a diet? This is unreal.
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