Needing Accountability

No one really checks up on me.
Are you sticking with it?
Do you need an encouraging word?
Would you like a walking partner?
You look like you are losing weight.  Keep up the great work!

I'm in a lonely battle all by my lonesome.
Each day I wake up, and my first thought is "another day of starving...will I make it?"
I'm the only one who can decide if I will raid the potato chips or chocolate bags...or if I will stick to the half gallon of water and very little food.  When I look at my food log at the end of the day, I'm still surprised how little food is listed.  I can't believe how fast it adds up.
It's all up to me.  Every minute of every day, whether I will choose wisely or poorly.
I feel like the knight in the third Indiana Jones movie is standing in the kitchen waiting to say, "You have chosen poorly" or "you have chosen wisely".
I wonder if every choice is going to cause me to fall off the wagon, gain a pound, push me over the edge, or cause me to be even hungrier in the next hour.
I wish I didn't have to constantly focus on this.
How many calories do I have left?
If I eat this, will I have enough food later?
Do I really want this or that?
What is the best way to budget my food today?
How many glasses of water do I have left to force down?

There is nothing to look forward to.  I ENJOY good food.  And now I don't get to.

Yes, I am done griping.  And off to drink more water.  Bleh.